After years of self abuse, I owe it to myself to be happy
When I left therapy I was aware that not all my problems would be fixed. I knew I’d still have painful circumstances in my life that I would have to deal with, and it scared me the fact I would be left alone with them. I had to have faith in myself and my abilities that when those trials arrived, I would be able to deal with them.
One of the most painful things in life is realising you were right about people’s negative perceptions of you you didn’t want to right about. You tell yourself positive affirmations that they aren’t true to move on and evidently find out you were right all along; they were instincts not insecurity.
Reoccurring wounds will always cause the same pain. And sadly, that pain is inevitable. But now I’m realising that I have a choice - I can allow that pain to fester by refusing to acknowledge it or treat it by acknowledging and processing it.
You can’t control what others think and act towards you but you can control what kind of energy you let into your life and how you make yourself happy.
If there’s anything I’ve learnt during my journey of recovery is that my only responsibility in this life is to put my happiness and wellbeing first and not at the expense of others, and as long as I’m not harming myself and others I can sleep easy with the choices I make.