I’m the first person who can tell you the changes you experience going through recovery can be incredibly overwhelming. Even though each change is a step away from being the miserable person you used to be, it can feel isolating, scary and difficult to accept you can’t do some things you want to do which helped you avoid your fears; like gaining weight or experiencing new emotions.
I personally experienced a lot of changes emotionally during recovery where I would start to cry subconsciously whenever I felt happy because I wasn’t used to feeling that emotion and it could be incredibly difficult and scary to feel myself dramatically changing and also processing emotions differently as I wasn’t used to feeling them.
Even though it was hard at the time, after the storm I learnt it was only to get me to where I needed to be and I had to work really hard to accept myself. I am vulnerable and sensitive with my emotions, and that may be a bad thing and present unlikeable qualities but it also presents my very best qualities like being able to make people feel feel emotions through my writing.
You may be recovering from an eating disorder and having a hard time accepting the physical changes from gaining weight, but remember those curves you’re gaining that you see as ‘fat’ are there to make you beautiful and a healthy and strong woman, so don’t be so quick to reject them - they’re allowing you to become who you really are.

I’m the first person who can tell you the changes you experience going through recovery can be incredibly overwhelming. Even though each change is a step away from being the miserable person you used to be, it can feel isolating, scary and difficult to accept you can’t do some things you want to do which helped you avoid your fears; like gaining weight or experiencing new emotions.

I personally experienced a lot of changes emotionally during recovery where I would start to cry subconsciously whenever I felt happy because I wasn’t used to feeling that emotion and it could be incredibly difficult and scary to feel myself dramatically changing and also processing emotions differently as I wasn’t used to feeling them.

Even though it was hard at the time, after the storm I learnt it was only to get me to where I needed to be and I had to work really hard to accept myself. I am vulnerable and sensitive with my emotions, and that may be a bad thing and present unlikeable qualities but it also presents my very best qualities like being able to make people feel feel emotions through my writing.

You may be recovering from an eating disorder and having a hard time accepting the physical changes from gaining weight, but remember those curves you’re gaining that you see as ‘fat’ are there to make you beautiful and a healthy and strong woman, so don’t be so quick to reject them - they’re allowing you to become who you really are.

I’m not scared.

I’m not scared of moving away from home.

I’m not scared of being on my own.

I’m not scared of being away from everything I know.

I’m not scared, because I know that whatever I jump into, I know I’ll swim right back up to the top. I’ve never felt this way before.

Of course I have my anxieties and nerves, but I feel okay. And that’s all you really can feel, I guess. Just okay with it all, because you know whatever happens you won’t drown - you can trust yourself enough to be able to swim.

The biggest thing I’ve probably learnt is that the same way life goes down, it goes right back up. You could have the worst day or things could be tedious and slow in life but these are the moments that are calm and still until the waves begin to form and you end up surfing on the best wave of your life and feel exhilarated. What I’m trying to say is unpredictable. You don’t know what will happen a week from now or a month. You simply don’t.

I’m not fearless, not just yet.
But I’m assured inside, which is as much as you can be. Everything’s changing. And somehow I’m okay with that. You are constantly growing and changing, and that’s a good thing. It’s scary, but good. Because the worst thing is allow yourself to be stunted in life than experience everything it has to offer in your limited time here.

I know summer is coming to an end and admittedly, I haven’t been working out near as much as I did last summer I have realised recently that the main aim of fitness should be to challenge yourself in new ways each time but also to be kept as fun as possible!
I think the main reason why I fell of the wagon was because I kept seeing it as a job than a part of my daily routine so it became uninteresting. Also, getting lost in all the health advice on having aesthetic goals made it tiring and stressful. But, one thing that always keeps me motivated and have fun when working out is having new music in my playlist that is fun and upbeat and just reminds me to not to take it so seriously and just have fun. So, here’s my summer playlist:
Reflection by Fifth Harmony
Shower by Becky G
Bo$$ by Fifth Harmony
Classic by MKTO 
Loyal by Chris Brown
Crazy Stupid Love by Cheryl Cole ft. Tinie Tempah
Boom Clap by Charli XCX
Chandelier by Sia 
Fancy by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
Problem by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea
Black Widow by Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora 

I know summer is coming to an end and admittedly, I haven’t been working out near as much as I did last summer I have realised recently that the main aim of fitness should be to challenge yourself in new ways each time but also to be kept as fun as possible!

I think the main reason why I fell of the wagon was because I kept seeing it as a job than a part of my daily routine so it became uninteresting. Also, getting lost in all the health advice on having aesthetic goals made it tiring and stressful. But, one thing that always keeps me motivated and have fun when working out is having new music in my playlist that is fun and upbeat and just reminds me to not to take it so seriously and just have fun. So, here’s my summer playlist: